Life is 100% fatal
You may as well spend it pretending you can stave off death by eating pills.
Damn you 2 health endorses these damn you 2 health products
Placebotox
Never run out of this essential treatment: Subscribe for just $150 per week!
Side effects include:
eye rolling (down stairs)
inability to feel tickling
loss of feet
loss of $150 per week
medicyanide
Side effects include:
loss of soul
confused elbow syndrome
unusual genitalia
Báthory Beef Tallow
Nothing marks the well-deserved end of a civilization like the wealthy using the rendered fat of another animal as a beauty product.
All-natural ingredients: Beef fat and/or the fat of the poor
The energy you generate through exercise should be reported to the US Geological Survey
Side effects include: inner-bumpiness, loss of ectoplasm, scattered croissants and fashion nonconformity
Eau des champions
Side effects, front effects, back effects, top effects and bottom effects include:
Various bacteriological and viral infections that will boost your resistance to vaccines and your immunity to seeing hypocrisy in politics
Chlorella de Vil
We thought of this pun, so we gathered some green powder and put it in a can for you. It will bestow immortality or your money back (money-back claims must be made in person).
CollaGEN-Z
CollaGEN-Z
Side effects include:
aging at the rate of one year per year
loss of appetite
loss of skin
death
second death
